Thursday, January 21, 2010

In Which My Clumsiness Astounds Even Me.

A few weeks ago, we took Piper to Monkey Joe's, which is this sort of indoor playground full of inflatable bounce-houses and slides. It's all soft, air-filled non-threatening equipment, designed so little kids can shove each other into it and jump around like howler monkeys on speed all day long and not sustain so much as a scratch.

And yet, somehow, despite all the inflatable bouncy protection, I managed to bunge up my foot so much I have been limping for nearly three weeks. When we arrived, I was perfectly happy to let Piper wear herself out climbing all over everything, and to let my husband chase after her and help her on the things she couldn't quite manage, but he wanted me to join the fun! So I scrambled in my stocking-feet after my own crazed little howler monkey as she navigated a foam-and-rubber obstacle course which ended in a short climbing wall studded with toe-holds. Since these toe-holds were designed for small kid feet, not Sasquatch-sized adult flippers, she was much faster than me. As I tried desperately to clamber after her and not look like the out-of-shape couch potato that I am, my cotton/poly-blend socks surrendered what little traction they had and my foot slipped. I crashed down onto the mat below, my foot still at an awkward angle, and heard a snap! sound when it hit. The almost-immediate burning sensation along my ankle let me know what something not good had just happened.

I tried to tough it out and accompanied Piper up and down a few more of the giant slides, until my husband noticed my grimace and pointed me to a row of lounge chairs conveniently provided for parents right in front of a big-screen TV. The arch-side of my foot had a rapidly-swelling lump and the burning, tingly sensation was getting worse as I propped it on an ottoman and tried to work on the knitting I'd brought with me.

Eventually we packed up and I limped home, tried putting it up and applying ice, and it hurt less, but I was still left hobbling around. I poked at it and decided nothing was broken (although, with no health insurance, it's not like we could afford to pop down to the Urgent Care for an x-ray anyway). I think I whacked the little bony part on the arch of my foot and bruised a bone or something. After a week, an ugly greenish-purple bruise blossomed on that side of my foot. The bruise has faded, but it still hurts to stand on it too long, it hurts to wear tight shoes, and anything besides tennis shoes or my trusty boots will leave me grimacing and hopping around.

Every time I step down and get a bolt of pain up my leg, I mentally kick myself for being such an idiot. I mean, who else but me could injure themselves that badly in a room FULL OF INFLATABLE SOFT THINGS?! Honestly.

No comments: