"We don't play with ketchup in the shower, do we Mom? No we don't, that's not polite!"
"Please eat your peas, Piper."
"I don't want to."
"Please eat them anyway. Vegetables are good for you."
"I don't want to eat begetables that are good for me, I just want ice cream."
We were out digging in the yard, and I turned up a worm, which startled me.
"Eww! A worm!"
"Let me see, Mom." She inspected the wriggling thing. "I don't like it. He's kinda gross."
"Yeah, I guess worms are kind a gross."
"But what about candy worms? They're not gross, are they?"
"I suppose not."
On the phone with my mom:
"Hi Grandma, I'm eating hamburgers."
"That's great. Do you like hamburgers?"
"Yeah. I like hamburgers. With ketchup and cheese and cheese. Do you like hamburgers?"
"I love hamburgers."
"What about candy hamburgers? Do you like candy hamburgers?"
"Uhh, I don't think so..."
Outside, in the yard:
"Mom, a spider! I'm going to pet him."
"Don't pet the spider. Spiders are dangerous. You should just leave them alone."
"I'm gonna just pet him for pretend."
"No, I think you probably should not even pretend-pet a spider. Some of the spiders here are very poisonous, so you shouldn't mess with any of them, just to be on the safe side, okay?"
"Okay. But what about candy spiders?"
"Yeah. Candy spiders are not dangerous, right?"
"Only to your teeth. If it's a candy spider, pet away, my friend."
"Hey Mom, can we go do some fun stuff?"
"What kind of fun stuff?"
"What did you have in mind? What fun things would you like to do today?"
"You know. Fun stuff and things. Fun things."
"Okay. I'll get right on that, kiddo."
Fortunately, her top spot in the category of "fun things" is a trip to the grocery store. She asks to go the grocery store every single day. As excited as she gets, you'd think the place was Disneyland. I don't quite get it, because most of the time we are there she has to listen to me say put it down and stay in your seat or come back here or no, we are not getting the Spider-Man popsicles or stop touching things or please please please BE QUIET so I can figure out if the name-brand tuna is worth an extra thirty cents. But she does get a free cookie and usually a balloon, and they do have hot dogs there (even if they are still in the package and don't cost $8 apiece), so I guess it could be confused with Disneyland.