I Need A Margarita

I have spent my entire day yelling. Every variation of no, don't touch that, stop, put it down, get off there, put it back, get down, come back here, stay in our yard, get out of there, don't do that, stop, quit, be quiet, and please don't that you can imagine. It is one of those days where eight hours of data-entry and Muzak sounds like a GREAT idea.

The howling started as soon as she woke up. Instead of eating the fruit and cereal I provided, she screamed to get down (screamed as though the high chair was electrified and she would DIE if I made her sit in it any longer), then climbed on me, messed with my hair, stuck her fingers in my cereal, took the book I was looking at, threw papers on the floor, and got pretty pissed off when I told her "You're done, get down." When we played outside I had to tell her stay in our yard or stay in the back yard at least 15 times. We came inside and all she would eat for lunch was cheese. Cheese and MORE CHEESE! UNNNNHHH! MORE CHEESE MOMMY! I let her down and she trashed the place. She pulled pots and pans out of the cupboard, and while I was cleaning that up she emptied her play fridge of its contents, which meant tiny forks and fabric play-food strewn over the dining-room floor. I started to pick that up and she pulled a bunch of papers off the table. I spent hours last night sorting and filing receipts from last year into rubber-banded stacks of envelopes, and while my back was turned she pulled them off the counter, removed the rubber bands, and scattered the envelopes all over the kitchen. While I was putting them back in order, she went into the bathroom, dragged out the 3-tier basket storage from under the counter, and started unloading it. She wandered out clutching a perfume bottle and got mad when I took it away. "Smell good! Smell good Piper! Unnnnnhhhhh! Smell good!" she screamed.

I am only getting to type this now because Yo Gabba Gabba! is on. It's the only TV show we let her watch (well, that, and a much-loved DVD of Kipper the dog. We were all high and mighty once, declaring no TV until age 2, but turns out that I need my sanity once in a while.