Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Ten Good Things

Ten Things I Thought of That Will Be Good About Having A Kid
(in no particular rank, importance, or order):

1. Will never struggle for a conversational topic with my in-laws again.

2. Baby is a girl and therefore we could have our own crack dealer - I mean, Seller Of Girl Scout Cookies - in a few years.

3. I will never have to go into the toy aisle at Target, K-B Toys, Toys R Us, or any other toy store with my husband again. He and the kid can walk up and down every aisle punching all the noisemaking buttons, looking at every single action figure, and waving the toy swords around to their hearts' content. I will be outside on a bench with some knitting and a double skim latte.

4. We will now have an excuse for getting out of any family parties/"traditions"/events we want to skip. Kids get sick, crabby, or onery a lot.

5. It will be interesting to see what the other mothers/PTA members/members of parenting groups think of my pierced nose and lassiez-faire hair.

6. Those teething toasts are way yummy. Nobody has to know the second box is just for me.

7. Will have an excuse to eat mac n' cheese for 4 of every 7 meals and not feel like I'm pathetically trying to re-live my college days.

8. I get a big smile thinking about all the obnoxious kids I know whose asses my kid will be able to kick.

9. When I drop/spill things on myself, like I ususally do at least once a day, now I can blame the kid.

10. Will be able to watch Teletubbies every day and not feel like a creepy whack-job.

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